It’s that time again. Summer was born premature, underweight, and with little chance of survival.
It held on a while, kept alive by the foolish hopes and dreams of all those who loved it. Then, before we could get to know it, it died.
As a nation, we mourned. Or, most of us did.
You see, most of us sit at our windows, staring at the bitter outside cold, wishing summer back. But, there is another group. A group born of darkness, filled with cruel intentions. A group who laughed at the premature demise our beloved summer.
That’s right, it’s the dreaded winter people. Winterites, if you like.
For centuries they’ve spawned in the autumn. Telling all who will listen winter beats summer. Laying nonsense arguments at our doors.
It’s a disgrace, and I will take it no longer. Now is the time to stand up to these people, with evidence of why Summer is so much better than Winter.
Read on, and if this blog convinces one Winterite of the error of their ways, it will be a success.
1. The world is your oyster
I’m writing this blog from my office (living room), and it sucks. During the winter months, the cold and rain restrict you to your tiny little flat or cubical. Like a prisoner. You can’t take your bike and go exploring. Picnics and BBQs are out of the question. And outdoor sex is unpleasant and unflattering for your male parts (if applicable).
Summertime means trips out, means exploring, means happy fun play time. And the crux of the matter is, you can still do all the winter crap too. Something not true in reverse.
2. Body parts
Take a walk to any park on a hot summer day and see how many scantily clad women and topless men you see. Bloody loads. Will they all be pleasant? No. But it’s a numbers game, and you know you’re going to see at least one person that hits the visual spot. Something you’d never get in the winter.
Sure, you can find this stuff online, and more, but it’s not the same, and you know it.
Seriously, does this need explaining?
4. Shorts/ Skirts
Do not tell me you enjoy wearing jeans. No one likes wearings jeans. They are restrictive. They are uncomfortable. They make you sweaty in all the wrong places and yet, we have to wear them.
Trousers are too dressy, and tracksuits are not allowed in the outside world. So jeans have cornered the market in casual winter wear.
Well, I say fuck jeans, and so does Summer. When the sun comes out so do shorts and skirts, the most beautiful of creations.
Freedom. A wide range of materials, and the chance to show off those tiny calves of yours (Probably stop skipping leg day, eh?)
Money can’t buy you happiness because happiness isn’t an object and thus is unsellable. But, it can buy you shorts, calippos, hookers, and other stuff that will make you happy.
So I suppose, in a roundabout way, money does buy you happiness. Guess no one ever thought that through.
That’s why summer is so great. It’s hot, and light for longer and that means fewer outgoings on gas and electricity. Redistribute that money on more fun things like the stuff mentioned earlier. Summer won’t wait, so neither should you.
So next time someone tells you winter is better than summer. Don’t say anything. You don’t need to. Just get straight on Facebook, report them for abuse, and delete them as a friend.
Then show them this blog.
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