Like the rest of you, I hate Monday mornings.
Also, like the rest of you, I knew that. As Monday rolled around (again) I had to drag myself out of bed and head to work because bills or something.
But that, I’m afraid, is where the similarities between you and me end. Because, while you sat at your desk and suffered in silence, not just on Monday, but all week, I had had enough.
“That’s it,” I said to my boss upon walking through the door. “I’ve had enough. I quit.”
And he said: “No.”
And I looked him in the eye, and I said: “you make some good points, Mr Boss, I retract my resignation. But I can’t hack it this week; I’m going home now.”
And he said: “also no.”
And I said: “Fuck’s sake, mate, can I at least have Tuesday through Friday off?”
And he said: “Okay, but only because you keep starting sentences with the word ‘and’. It’s poor form, and I’m sick of it.
An- sorry, so I said: “Good enough for me.”
So I had a week off, and I told myself I was going to be productive.
I was going to cure world hunger, and if I couldn’t do that (which I couldn’t) I was going to write.
See I was 56,000 words into a projected 80,000 novel, and I thought, if I work hard, I can finish that book this week.
I did an’ all. But it’s better than even it sounds. Because that 80,000-word novel grew over the next few days. By the time I finished, yesterday evening, it had become 116,000 words.
I ploughed out 60,000 words in fours days. So I whipped my calculator out and worked out that’s 15,000 words a day.
Yes, a calculator. I’m a writer, not a mathematician.
It has been a whirlwind. Pretty much non-stop writing and I’m so excited to get to re-drafting it after “letting it lie” a while.
In the meantime, I’m going to be ploughing on with my Man vs Bookshelf challenge. (I’m meant to be writing my Lisey’s Story review for that right now, but it’s harddddd. So I’m doing this instead.) Come November, I”m going to be writing a new first draft for National Novel Writing Month. So I’ll be planning that over the next few days.
So thanks for reading this ego piece and look out for the product of this beautiful week next May. Update: it now won’t be out until August. At least. And, in the meantime, remember to get your copy of Poor Choices, my latest novel.
Honestly, you won’t regret it.
Unless you do.
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