I bought Confessions of a Sociopath on 25th September 2014.
That’s over three years ago at the time of writing so, yes, this was another one that sat on the shelf for a long time.
How do I know the exact date for once?
You may think something monumental must have happened on that day. I got my dream job or Emma Stone professed her undying love for me.
In actual fact, I know the date because I left the receipt in the book after purchase.
Super boring explanation but there it is.
I remember picking it up in the W.H. Smith at Reading train station. Grabbed by the interesting concept and not much else.
I don’t remember where I was going but assume it was to see my ex down Brighton way.
The receipt tells me I also purchased some Buxton water, a paper (the I) and some Max crisps.
But I never did read the book on the train. Don’t know why.
Maybe there was a lot going on in the news that day or, more likely; I got distracted by my phone.
Whatever the case, the book stayed in my bag, returning to my shelf when I got home.
There it remained, unread until…
Doing this challenge I have to pick up something every few days no matter what. But Confessions was no random pick.
Come November, National Novel Writing Month began, and I threw myself into a new first draft.
Said draft involved a sociopathic character, and I wanted to get them right.
Usually, I don’t bother with things like this in first drafts. I write away and fix any and all problems in post.
Not so this time.
I’m interested in sociopathy anyway, so for my character, I began reading articles. Learning about the many traits of sociopaths and incorporating them into my character.
The articles were a great start, but I wanted something longer. It was this that led me to remember Confessions and pick it up once more. Adding it to my list of the next few books I’m going to read.
So it was interesting going into this book. It was the first one I picked up not for enjoyment alone, or for the challenge. It also served research purposes for my writing.
This led to me reading the text a little more critically, and probably contributed to it being a slow read.
That and the fact I took two days off in the middle of reading it.
Not a good idea.
But I still finished it in the seven days I allow myself, and was left with a new perspective on sociopaths.
Here is what I thought of that.
M.E. Thomas and Me
M.E. and I don’t have a previous relationship for obvious reasons.
She is a successful U.S. Based lawyer, and I am an unsuccessful English based author.
Having already outlined my reasons for picking up this book, there’s not much more to stay here.
This section’s only present for form’s sake if I’m honest.
So, uh, moving swiftly on.
Confessions of a Sociopath
Read from: 22/11/2017 to: 28/11/2017
Confessions turned out to be almost as interesting as it was useful shaping my own sociopath. Character that is.
It offered a unique perspective on sociopaths (from inside the mind of one), and that was a real draw.
I gave it a three out of five on Goodreads.
It was a good read (ha), but it was not mind-blowing. It had its issues (the main one of which I will discuss below), but I think it nailed what it was aiming to do.
The book has two main aspects, the psychological analysis of sociopathy in general and the memoirs of our hero, M.E. Thomas.
I’ll look at each of these in turn, before going into my big negative of the book and my summary.
The Psychology Stuff
M.E. has spent a lot of time looking into the psychology of sociopaths. Covering the last 100 years or more to give a real depth of opinion.
For example, she shows people used to link sociopathy with homosexuality. A biased opinion driven by a predisposition to assume the gay community was evil.
But even as the research grew less biased it always seems to have leant towards a negative view of sociopathy.
This is understandable in many ways.
Sociopaths share many traits society recognises as ‘bad’. The inability to relate to other people or feel guilt, for example. Or their inherent narcissism and self-interest at the cost of all others.
However, what M.E. Seeks to show is that just because these traits are present, doesn’t make sociopaths bad people.
I won’t go into the research in great detail here, but with case studies from her own blog and plenty of official research papers, M.E. Shows that sociopaths can be good, useful, and downright successful, and are not predisposed to becoming psycho killers, as the media might have you believe.
This look into sociopathy really did make me reconsider my own preconceptions of people afflicted with this disorder and what it means for them.
The Memoir Stuff
M.E. frames her research within a memoir of her own life. This ranges from her difficult childhood to her struggles as an adult, coming to terms with her condition and later overcoming it.
As with the research, the stories from M.E.’s life made me reconsider my thoughts on sociopathy.
Yes, she comes across as arrogant, conceited, manipulative, and hurtful. But she is upfront about all these things, and it is not the be all and end all.
What surprised me was her discussions on how much she struggled with her condition before she understood it. The way it ripped her life apart, leaving her to fight to get it back on track.
It showed a level of emotion I had not thought sociopaths capable of. Something added to by her revelation that she does feel love. Especially for children.
So the memoir was fascinating, and the anecdotes often exciting, but there was one big caveat.
Throughout the book, M.E. had a real problem with repetition.
A real problem.
See what I did there.
Many passages I felt like I was reading the same story or message again, rephrased.
Don’t get me wrong, the stories and information were interesting the first time.
But I didn’t need to hear it again.
This repetition held the book back, I thought.
I ended up flicking through pages, skipping the same out stuff. It made me think the book could have been quite a bit shorter, without impacting the quality.
In fact, it could have enhanced it.
This book was a three out of five on Goodreads.
I think that’s fair.
It was interesting and original but suffered from retreading old ground too often.
If you have the slightest interest in the subject matter (or if you think you might), I’d recommend giving Confessions ago.
I wasn’t disappointed.
Next up, a book I couldn’t wait to get out the way.
But was it as bad as I thought?
Find out in a few days with my Silence review